Male Wish List

Men and women and boys and girls are often perplexed about the inner life of men. It’s not something that’s talked about much and it’s often very hard for men to speak to. “Men, once one of the world’s great sexes,” said Garrison Keillor. Speaking to men’s inner experience is a little like being a comedian who’s bombed for the last . . .hour. The room is nervous about what you’ll say.

I wanted to share these responses I copied from Twitter in response to hashtag #MaleWishList. They give an interesting peek at some of the landscape there.

If you have other wishes that support the male soul, or would like to comment, you can do so below!

Male Wish List

To see the collective of men as *the brotherhood*, not *the competition.*

That men would have the courage to cry in front of others – boys, men, sons, daughters, women, fathers, mothers, women.

To believe you have the strength, when those you love know you have but you’re not so sure.

To live in a world in which tenderness, compassion, and sensitivity are no longer regarded as primarily feminine qualities.

For all men to celebrate their god given gifts.

That men will be able to express the right feeling at the right person at the right time.

@rickbelden  For young boys not to be shamed for crying, and to no longer hear “I’ll give you something to cry about.”

That men would embrace their shame and not project it onto others – but rather spend time building shame resilience.

To feel safe being vulnerable around other people, to feel loved, connected, and accepted for who I truly am.

To touch without fear, to feel without despair, to dream without nightmares.

To hold onto my courage as I allow love into my life.

That fathers would be emotionally present for their sons and daughters.

To have friends who say ‘get up’ when I feel like giving up on something which is important to me.

For anger to be considered a valid emotion.

To be held, rather than to only hold

That men would begin to realise the need to evolve, to change and to take responsibility for feelings, behaviour and talk.

For sanity and peace of mind. My head sounds like a blender that’s stuck in the on position.

To be me, not what other people think should be me.

To feel free to be who I am in every moment without fear of being judged as “unmanly” whether by other men, women, or culture.

To have a broader spectrum of emotional expression, moving from experiencing the world in monochrome to one of colour.

To feel that my sensitivity is an asset rather than a weakness to be feared and hidden from others.

To be comforted, and hugged, and looked after.

To have it that pulling back can be a healthy move … we’ve got to honor our men for who they are.

That fewer boys will have to wander alone, unsupported, in the never never land between boyhood and manhood.

To live my own truth and let go of all fear based media bullshit

A culture that encourages personal relationships based on spiritual affinities rather than political, social and career ones.

For women to realize all men aren’t the same and we do not all fit the stereotypes

To lead the kinds of lives that will make young boys feel eager to grow up and join our ranks.

To meet a woman who I can share my self awareness with, and enjoy intimacy, both spiritual and physical, without fear.

To have a male friend who I can share intimacy with, and feel safe doing so.

To take our boys out and initiate them into the brotherhood of man – and into a sense of their own male identity – as of old.

To remember that failure & rejection do not reduce or diminish me as a man, but are pathways into my own strength & wisdom. Rick Belden

To have trusted male friends I can talk with openly when I’m trying to work thru some problem or just having a tough day. Rick Belden

To make a living doing work that truly moves me. Nick Robinson @nickrobcoach

For fathers: to be emotionally healthy, present and available. @PeterdeKock

To smile at a child in public or enjoy watching kids play in the park without being seen as some kind of threat or weirdo. @rickbelden

That every man be free to express his pain without fear of it being used against him as a weapon. @Dannyscorner

For more men to realize that working themselves to death is not the best way to meet the real needs of their families. Rick Belden

For more men to realize that their parental love means so much to their kids, despite what anti-dad types say. @dannyscorner

For every man to have an opportunity for an extended sabbatical (not weeks but months) to slow down & rediscover his essence. RickBelden

To know and trust that I can be strong and powerful without hurting others. RickBelden

For men to be able to speak up about any pain and be met with something other than harsh judgement for “failing at manhood.” @dannyscorner

That men would be emotionally brave. James Hawes

To live in a world in which greed, avarice, venal stupidity, and amoral self-interest are punished rather than rewarded. Rick

And wait . . . there’s more!


That every man would have at least one compassionate witness to his pain & confusion, someone he knows he can always count on. Rick Belden

For the company of Good Men MichaelLang @oaktreepc

That all dads feel empowered to care for and connect with their children, and feel supported in their efforts to do so. @mencareglobal

For my father to have his family reunited before we lose him.

To allow my brother & extended family to love and embrace our differences. also from brenda

To be able to talk about anything that affects men without it being forced through the lens of “how does _____ affect women”. DanBoltonLMHC

To live in a world in which men and boys who’ve been abused feel free to talk about it, and have the words to do so. RickBelden

For every city and university to have a fully functional men’s center offering support and resources for men in need. #IMD2013

@judahoudshoorn: wouldn’t it be nice if men would reward/encourage sensitivity & empathy when they see it in other men?

For equal regard when it comes to men’s concerns and opinions as parents. DanBolton

For a world where more men could sit in truth-speaking circles and learn to accept our glorious imperfections.  Earl

To let go of everything I learned from John Wayne and other so called super heroes  PeterdeKock

Take a deep breath and another one when faced with fear, anger or sadness and know that everything is OK. PeterdeKock

The satisfaction, the blessing, of knowing I’m in just the right place as the man I am,

That my son, Joaquin wouldn’t be shamed by his pre-school teachers and Grandparents for having his toenails painted Emiliano DiazdeLeon ‏@ECDiazdeLeon

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