Everything comes clear in Presence

Everything comes clear in Presence. Yet Presence can’t be described or forced, proven or produced on demand. Everything you can say about the Tao, which isn’t much, can be said about Presence. (Holy Spirit, we can only make little songs about you, skipping-rope songs.) We hear the melody. We see it on the faces in all the different ways. Transparent Presence makes everything visible. The ancestors wait in Presence. The pain of the long past […]

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Being effective in this bewildering moment

Martin Buber wrote an amazing book in 1923 that has endured and perhaps will endure as a classic. It was called I-Thou. In vivid poetic language that is as fresh today as it was then, he spoke a timeless truth. (Here are excerpts that give the flavor of his writing.) Humans have two modes, I-Thou or I-It. I-Thou is relational and we speak to and from the whole of ourselves. I-It is transactional (my word) and […]

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How to get from breakfast to lunch without losing your mind

The world is well on its way to waking up. If it doesn’t blow itself up first, which it’s also well on its way to doing. It’s the best of times, the worst of times. But do we have to choose, good reader? Old Aristotle suggested no: “The mark of the truly educated is being able to entertain an idea without accepting it.” But how do we do that? I’m not talking about abstract notions […]

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Telling My Story

I’ve been avoiding telling my own story. For several days I was writing a blog post about how we needed more honest personal story, more sex and gender in our  conversations. Then I noticed I wasn’t telling my own. Telling is unfamiliar because I’ve been very close-mouthed about great chunks of my own story, forever.  Though much easier, it’s still difficult to talk about my early childhood and the pervasive experience of abandonment that persists […]

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Risk in consciousness groups

I’m lucky to have places where I can speak frankly about what’s most important to me.  I can be well heard and hear other too. I learn, stretch and grow in those generative depths. But pleasure and expansion aren’t the whole story. Quite often I’m careful, walking on eggshells, wondering how to get my messy as-yet-unformed experience into a common space with others. This evening I was in conversation with a male counselor and a […]

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Risking seeing – and being seen

I’ve been learning recently that I’m not always so good at receiving gifts of the heart. From others or from “the universe.” The common factor of course is me, the receiver. But how to learn  to receive better? Last year I published a book about evolutionary self-development.  It’s a good book and it points to a particular slice of our predicament in a unique and telling way. (I think you should all read it. :)) […]

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Beyond social control is authenticity, but it takes a tribe to find it

Social control, political correctness, group think are all ways of describing the pressure to act or feel a certain “correct” way in order to be accepted and loved by the people that are important to us. Usually we think of these as negatives. But they’re  part of life. Handling them can be a genuine life-changer for us, putting us in the driver’s seat of our own life as never before. Here’s why that’s so. We […]

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Belonging comes first

I wanted to share a few words about what I think is at the core of groups that help people grow. It’s that belonging (attachment and connection) come first  and if that’s taken care of, everything else – emergence, integration and more – can follow. But to  the  extent that it’s not there, growth and movement are compromised. Belonging is to humans as soil is to plants. We grow in the soil of the relationships […]

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