Here they are:
- Take time to slow down and be with what you’re noticing in the present, how it is for you. Most conversations don’t make room for what’s alive in the moment so it may feel unfamiliar, and perhaps challenging, to make a space for that.
- It’s perfectly OK to pass, to not speak, anytime it’s your turn. If you choose to pass, please say so, so that the others know that.
- Listening is as important as speaking. As best as you can, don’t step away form what’s being said so you can plan what you’re going to say.
- Allow for the possibility that something profoundly important can come up for you to act on.
- Speak to what’s true for you and let others have their own experience of what’s true for them. No need to interpret for them. No need to fix, advise or rescue others, even if it does come from a good motive in us.
- Welcome silence in the group should it come. Much is being said in the silence if we can rest and listen in it.
- If feelings are running high, see if you can let that be OK too. There’s much intelligence in the circle that will carry us through. We don’t have to make it right.
- Having others’ attention is a precious gift. One way to receive that gift is to be aware that others are listening closely to you. If you will, see if you can gift them of something alive from you.
- In addition to our individual perspectives, there’s something happening in the larger “field” of us together too. Each of us notices that, consciously or not. Feel free to speak to what you’re noticing in “the field.”
- Take what comes as an expression of where we are at the moment.
- Enjoy it!
These are adapted from the Dialogue Guidelines laid out by the Concord Institute, 1995.