How to get from breakfast to lunch without losing your mind

The world is well on its way to waking up. If it doesn’t blow itself up first, which it’s also well on its way to doing. It’s the best of times, the worst of times. But do we have to choose, good reader? Old Aristotle suggested no: “The mark of the truly educated is being able to entertain an idea without accepting it.” But how do we do that? I’m not talking about abstract notions […]

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Telling My Story

I’ve been avoiding telling my own story. For several days I was writing a blog post about how we needed more honest personal story, more sex and gender in our  conversations. Then I noticed I wasn’t telling my own. Telling is unfamiliar because I’ve been very close-mouthed about great chunks of my own story, forever.  Though much easier, it’s still difficult to talk about my early childhood and the pervasive experience of abandonment that persists […]

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Risk in consciousness groups

I’m lucky to have places where I can speak frankly about what’s most important to me.  I can be well heard and hear other too. I learn, stretch and grow in those generative depths. But pleasure and expansion aren’t the whole story. Quite often I’m careful, walking on eggshells, wondering how to get my messy as-yet-unformed experience into a common space with others. This evening I was in conversation with a male counselor and a […]

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The way of not-knowing

Going down rapids in a canoe is a thrilling experience because you’ve no time – and no way – to figure out what to do. It feels like having the mind  vacuumed, not a thought in there. The habitual pattern of thought is thoroughly interrupted. Our current world situation, the one we’re all in, has overtones of this. The journey is much too complex for rational processes to capture usefully, too much for “knowing.” Our […]

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No rules for the journey

We came by them honestly, the rules that define our lives. We were born to them. But of course we didn’t think they were rules when we were small; we thought  they were reality and we could be good by following them. It’s good when the rules break down and nothing works because then we see the rules aren’t the same as reality. And we were so very sure they were. When we see they […]

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When consciousness groups play nice

When we’re in “consciousness groups,” do we tend to downplay our own agency, our “mission” so we can get along? Do we forget about our purpose or forget that we even have one? Do we unconsciously play it safe so we can be “liked” and not ruffle too many feathers? More generally, does the consciousness community as a whole tend to do this playing nice? I’ll raise my hand. I do it! And it’s not […]

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Risking seeing – and being seen

I’ve been learning recently that I’m not always so good at receiving gifts of the heart. From others or from “the universe.” The common factor of course is me, the receiver. But how to learn  to receive better? Last year I published a book about evolutionary self-development.  It’s a good book and it points to a particular slice of our predicament in a unique and telling way. (I think you should all read it. :)) […]

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Beyond social control is authenticity, but it takes a tribe to find it

Social control, political correctness, group think are all ways of describing the pressure to act or feel a certain “correct” way in order to be accepted and loved by the people that are important to us. Usually we think of these as negatives. But they’re  part of life. Handling them can be a genuine life-changer for us, putting us in the driver’s seat of our own life as never before. Here’s why that’s so. We […]

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Activism and “the other”

How do I make room for those who don’t see things the “enlightened” way I do?  American professor Jonathan Haidt focused this question the beautifully the other day comparing two groups we’ll all recognize – however we might feel about them. On the one hand are those for whom John Lennon’s Imagine is an anthem. We love the open borders with no countries or possessions, and no religion too. On the other are those for […]

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Belonging comes first

I wanted to share a few words about what I think is at the core of groups that help people grow. It’s that belonging (attachment and connection) come first  and if that’s taken care of, everything else – emergence, integration and more – can follow. But to  the  extent that it’s not there, growth and movement are compromised. Belonging is to humans as soil is to plants. We grow in the soil of the relationships […]

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